I’m continuing this series of excepts from the “world’s most valuable gift”, delivered free to me in her Majesty’s name, by the church she defends. Today I’d like to talk about one of the freakiest bits of the NT. No, it’s not from Acts, or Revelation, but comes straight from the mouth of the Demi-God himself in the first book of the NT. I’m talking about Matthew 24. The Queen says, on the bookmark that accompanies this “gift”, that she draws comfort from Christ’s words and example in difficult times.  If you are to do this, and want to keep Jesus on his holy pedastal, you have to make some serious excuses for this chapter. Of course, cherry picking is something liberal Christians are just used to doing. A harsh person would call that hypocrisy.

Many passages in the Gospels suggest that Jesus thought that the end of the world was about to come, accompanied by a division of those persons left into the saved and condemned. It explains why he was absolutely fine with giving away all possessions, leaving family behind etc. No passage makes this clearer than Matthew 24, when the events signifying the end of times are described.

The signs include: false Messiahs (!!!!); wars; famines, earthquakes; Christ’s followers will be put to death; people will flee to the mountains; it’ll be bad for nursing mothers (!); worse, this could happen in winter or (and I can’t resist a smirk here), on the Sabbath. The sun will be darkened, the moon will “lose it’s light” (oops), and the stars will fall from the sky (oops). Trumpets and Angels herald the coming of the Son of Man.

In verse 34, comes this: “Truly I tell you, this generation will not pass away until all these things have happened”.

Then a warning that you won’t know when it will happen, so be vigilant; weeping and gnashing of teeth.

End-of-times cults are still pretty common and we all categorize them as crazies, and feel pretty sorry for their gullible members. Well, Jesus did this too. Jesus not only gets his predictions badly wrong (these things didn’t happen before that generation passed away), I’m afraid this passage shows him up for being not divine in any sense. I’m not sure I get much comfort from his model of the universe either. It seems all a bit shitty really. Fortunately, since it’s not based on any evidence whatsoever, we are completely justified in not taking Jesus’ predictions seriously. But what does this say about the man in general? Lord? Liar? Lunatic? The kindest conclusion is that he was simply deluded and mistaken. Not something you expect of Demi-Gods. Matthew 24: you have to read it to believe it.